Toy Cow—Rosendale has repeatedly misled Montanans about his ranching credentials and, as recently reported, this toy cow is the closest he’s ever been to owning real cattle. At least now when people refer to him as “all hat, no cattle” he can point to his little plastic cow.
Travel-Sized Sunscreen—TSA-approved packaging so Rosendale won’t forget his sunscreen when he travels to California to hob knob with out-of-state, big dollar donors.Since Rosendale pushes for healthcare policies that don’t have to meet current health care rules, he really can’t afford to get sunburnt and end up at the doctor.
Plane Pillow—Rosendale spends so much time flying back and forth to D.C. to meet with Washington lobbyists instead of doing the job Montanans elected him to do, at least with a travel pillow, Rosendale’s neck won’t suffer, unlike Montana, from his constant trips to the East Coast.
Stationary Flags—Rosendale signed under penalty of perjury that he was a Maryland resident to receive a tax break only available to residents of Maryland, then blamed it on his title company. So hopefully these stationary flags will keep Rosendale from blindly signing documents under penalty of perjury while running for office this time around.
Old Bay Seasoning—Some special seasoning for Rosendale’s seafood birthday dinner. It will make him feel right at home. Home in Maryland, that is.
“Happy Birthday” Cards—We also wanted to pass along well wishes from Rosendale’s biggest supporters including Illinois billionaire Dick Uihlein, the Koch Brothers, GOP Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and disgraced former Trump advisor Steve Bannon. It’s clear, however, that Rosendale’s birthday gift from these folks came early in the form of the millions of dollars they poured in to help Rosendale squeak out a primary win in a field of lack-luster candidates.
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